I feel like - I'm blessed to have the people I know around me.

I'm tired.

I went for a bush walk with Nick yesterday, i'm so unfit.
Girly Man is leaving to go and work interstate.
I've been seeing really good looking guys lately and i think next time I see one who is as obviously catching my eye i'm just going to give him my number and tell him to call me. Why not? You live once.
I've gotta go sleep calls

That's it

Well now you know all my thoughts while I was away. I don't know how interesting it is but at least you know where I am now.
As most you know I kinda laid low for about a month or so since I came back.
I think I would have liked to see people but I just couldn't.
Not feeling compleatly myself.
QLD didn't work out, Moving back home hasn't exactly worked either, I still haven't got a stable income and I'm not working full time (hoping to change that next week).
I'm thinking that I want to travel but when? Where? How? Who with? I don't know.
Things are starting to look up now for the first time.
The sun still shines and tomorrows another day.
I'm so thankful that I have such wonderful supportive friends and people around me.

Continued on the plane - last entry

- Yea, I'm back in Australia passing over Port Headland at the moment, But I'm arriving into Melbourne at 1.10 AM NOT PM like the stupid woman in England told me.

11th 0r 12th December Sat or Sun???

I've totally lost my patience for anyone. I'm tired, there's an old woman sitting next to me coughing, herking up lugies, sniffing, swallowing and I am making it bluntly obvious that she's being a PIG. That's so disgusting!!!
There's an Australian girl not far, sitting near me but I can hear "English accent" is coming through. Nah , can't be bothered talking to anyone. I want sleep, so badly. I'm so tired, hungry - really tired and when I'm really tired and hungry I'm awful - just ask Colin!!! Poor thing he's seen me in best form! I'm fine once I've eaten and slept but until then I'm...Not nice and I don't care about being "nice".
This stupid Indian woman let her little baby boy fricken run around the airport and she didn't care what he was doing. I watched him make a bee line towards someone's dropped bit of bread on the ground, the kid picked it up and ate it! The mother didn't even know she wasn't even watching him! It was a rather bit piece of bread he took a bite then I couldn't stand it, I took it off him, threw it in the bin scowled and said loudly "That's disgusting!" I greased off in the direction of his mother. Some parents are so . Put the kid on a leash! He must have been all of 12 or 14 months! Ugh!

10th continued December

11.45 PM
I'm at Dubai something funny just happened. I ate this tuna and corn sandwich, well half it tasted yuk, then I felt like I was going to hurl.
I saw these signs with pictures of a female on one and a male on the other, it had their type of writing on the sign.
I walked quickly into the women's and turned the corner - huh???
Where's the toilets? How come this looks like a change room? Why are they sitting on the floor...- maybe the toilets are behind that wall - no. Showers for your feet???
- huh?? What is this???!!!
I walked quickly out looked around and up again - I walked into moske prayer room!!!
I started laughing to myself. Then this Indian looking Brazil top wearing guy calls out "Have you finished your prayer??!!" I just laughed, he and 5 or 6 of his friends saw me do it and they were in stiches!! The look on my face would have totally given it away. I'll double check next time!
Oh, I still feel sick.
I was thinking about buying some alcohol duty free - but unfortunately I still can't look at the stuff without my stomach turning. Oh, that bad going away night.Argh.
I can't carry anymore anyway.

10th December

I spent last night in a hotel. 65 pounds later! I don't care. I had a shower, sleep, dinner,breakfast, my own toilet and shower, privacy and a big double bed which was comfortable and the bus to the air port picked me up right out the front. Very good.
Now I'm at the airport waiting to get on my plane. I might do some shopping in Dubai. It's very cheap there.
I have traveled so much with Jesus/God it's been an amazing learning time. It's hard to believe it's been a month! So much has happened!
It's kinda weird going back to Melbourne - even if it is just for a week. There's a cheap flight to Rocky so it looks like I'll be on that.
I want to spend Christmas with Dave. I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. Who knows?! Maybe after a month or two.
I've just finished reading the book I started on the flight over it's called Don't let her see me cry by Helen Barnacle. It's a book that reminds me about compassion.
It makes me think about maybe living as a lead tenant. The big sister program maybe? Rosies in Brisbane?
Just do what Gods will is for me. But for now I have to go and see Ness.

Continued 8th dec 12.30 AM

Well so much for thinking the airport didn't close. It's closed.
I'm sitting on a chair with what seems to be a homeless guy sleeping 5 chairs down from me. Behind me there are three people lying down sleeping and they have luggage to, so I'm sitting behind the sleeping lady.
It's better to be around people.
I went to wash my hands and I'm allergic to the soap and there's no water to rinse my hands so I used a baby wet wipe, my hands are bright red and stinging.
-
God I'm so stupid. I should have known. SO stupid. I'm sorry. Forgive me Lord, protect me and watch over me, as I know your doing so.
11 hours to go till I can go to that hotel room. Shower and sleep.
Oh,sigh,oh stupid me.
It's a time where I just want Brad. Security,Friend, comfort.
SHIT, I'm a dumb FUCKER!!!!!
I can't sleep for two reasons. 1., I don't trust these people around hear and I have to be aware of my surroundings. My money, bags - anything could happen.
I'm scared.
God is with me. I feel he's warmth. Comfort. I'm Ok.
Ok now it's 4 AM - still awake.
I really need a shower, clean clothes and sleep right now. I'm thinking I'll move to Brisbane for awhile. Get involved with Rosies up there for awhile. I just want a change from Melbourne for a bit.
I'm in so much dept and that's not including the extra slab I'll get hit with from Steiner for breaking my contract.
I could have a new car deposit with that. Oh well.
It's 6 AM -
My eyes are falling out of my head. I can't sleep yet. If I sleep now, I might not wake up till who knows when and I don't / can't leave my bags. This is so bad!
I need sleep! I can check in to my hotel at 12 , I'll be there at 11.30.
There is a crying, squealing kid behind me. Just give it what it wants!!
Shut up! God get them away, it's just a noise!
7.40 AM
I have to write this or else I'll fall asleep. I already did about five times ,just shut my eyes and drift off to sleep.
Hmm - the only souvenir I got from the ship was this pen I took.
Oh gee, I have to sleep.

8th December

4.05 AM
Well I guess one hour of sleep in 24 hours isn't to bad...Hmmm another 25 hours to go...hmm I have a feeling jet lag might be a problem...Again!!
Ok hears where I stand. I'm at the Heathrow airport waiting for Emerits airline to open. Maybe they have a cancellation - God I hope so. Altho I've been told that if I don't get one the next available flight is in - wait for it - June 12th.
I can pay 600 pounds and be in Sydney in 25 hours but that's $2,400 which I haven't got and I don't want to pay back to anyone. Hmmm, If worst comes to worst I could live at YMCA and get a job hairdressing in either London or Watford and I guess stay till June 12th. I'm not really worried or concerned about anything because my faith is in God. I have e mailed Matt who I met in Watford before I left and I'll give Alex and Cinn an e mail too later on tonight.
Bless Sarah she's also got friends over hear and said to ask her for anything. So with that and the YMCA I should be fine. I'm running out of money and I'm not telling mum I don't want her to worry about me.
I just have to get a job ASAP. I want to see Ness and Dave (cousins in QLD) the hot weather! I hate this cold crappy weather! Oh well, just take what's given to you. I'm really not worried. God will work things out. I know he will.
Nothing is as bad as it may first seem. Mums going to expect me to call...All's good :-) I'm in no contract.
Oh please God, find me a flight tonight, One I can exchange for the other I have in July. Please God, Work things out for the best.
Oh God please work in Brads heart, Help him to be able to find me a flight, accommodation or something. He seems really genuine and caring. Keep him with that feeling God, Also please help the Emirates ticket desk to be just as nice and friendly and helpful. It's in your hands.
(Brad Anderson - above was one person who really stood out in the airport, he worked at the desk in Emirits. He made such a true caring effort for me.)
You know what - I've lost track of time but I do know that I got about One and a half hours of dozing sleep in the past 30 hours and I'm not tired. Funny that.
Well this is going to be a looong night.
It's just gone 7.30 pm and I am spending the night at the airport.
No sleep.
I've booked a room at some cheap hotel near the airport tomorrow night.
I'll go in at 12 noon. So I will. I want to shower, wash my hair,sleep...
Mum's looking forward to seeing me so that's good. I'm looking forward to seeing Tessa baby (my cat).
Oh yeah, I couldn't find that Brad guy but trust in God. I fly out of Heathrow airport to Dubai on Friday morning then I spend about 6 or 7 hours at Dubai then I fly to Melbourne. Then I get over my jet lag and fly to Rockhamption.
Hmm... I feel abit awkward seeing a few people back home again. They might feel the same. Oh well.
I'm feeling delirious.
I feel abit dizzy. Vague. I think I'm over tired. What will it be like in 16 hours?!?
Awake I hope cos` I have to check into the hotel. There are hundreds of people hear tonight.
Did I mention that I saw the new Fitness trainer who was going on board? I had talked with her at Steiner and the YMCA. I told her a few things about the ship. That the moneys not worth it but the people are all really nice - well she would need that positive note. No need to say anything negative she doesn't need that sort of start.
My eyes are so heavy. I can't fall asleep. Someone might take my stuff. I'm sitting on it.
Gosh, it's getting hard to keep my eyes open it's 8.10 pm.
9PM.
Just downed a red bull.

7th Dec

It's 8.35pm and yes - I'm on a plane headed for London.:-)
I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision but during the ride to the airport I knew that I'd made the right choice. Even sitting hear I'm so glad that I don't have to be on there! Jennifer was a blunt, rude, arrogant, hard little woman.
I'm glad I don't have to see her again! I did see God in her tho, others liked her - men, others, but we clashed. Only after she found out I was leaving.
Jason (manager) Is just like my ex house mate Martin!!
Looks, acts ,he's dismissive - if he doesn't want to talk to you he won't. Even if you ask him a question! He'll ignore you and walk off! He's also really not a morning person where I am and I don't think he even woke up until 11am! I mean he did get up at 8am!
Out of work hours he wasn't to bad. He was a JACKASS on a POWER TRIP.
Oh well - I figure now - I'm happy. I don't know what's around the next corner and I like it that way. I'm no longer in a contract and I can do what I like. I called mum at the airport. It was good we had a laugh and she's glad I sounded happy. My friend makes me laugh! He's e mail, He's a sweetie really, he's e mail was so supportive and made me laugh.
I'm so glad I have the support of my friends and prayers of my friends.
(ha,ha a lady dropped her dinner rubbish everywhere! She spilt her water before! That's kinda funny :-)Glad she's not sitting next to me!)
It's funny I don't think I have really felt homesick. I mean I missed my personal space at home and stuff, but I never cried about it.
Colin sent me this e mail saying how I wasn't a failure and Mum, Dad and he loved me and how Australia really is the best place to live. That really brought a tear to my eye. After all the horrible things I've said to him and he still stands by me.
It's a nice feeling.
Maybe that's why I don't feel homesick because Fi, Kerryn, Thea, Ange and all my friends back home show so much love and support towards me. God thank you soooo much for bringing them into my life. Flick wrote this beautiful letter which brought tears to my eyes. How everyone of my friends plays a part in my life and makes me so happy!
Just thinking of them,Thea, Ange and our talks, Little Jacob and Abbys hair cuts Fi and Kerryn helping me walk with Jesus and Brad helping me grow into the person I am. Everyone plays a part in that.
Jacob the American guy e mailed me - I wonder if i'll ever see him again?
This flight is for 13 or 14 hours. Then another 24 hours from London! I can't sleep altho it's a really nice plane. Nice food, toilets are really good and big chairs.
I also think that I'm not homesick because 'm reading an Australian book and the Author talks about Melbourne and it's surrounding areas and I know them. Also I've been listing to Brads CD, Lucys CD, Ausssi Guy Sebastian and Delta's CD's. So I guess that helps.
I find that when I think about things Rosies always comes up. They all make me smile too! :-) I'm soo Happy!
I'll eventually get my Guitar,piano and surf board.
I have to laugh at myself because even tho the other day was really good with the Spanish guy Cristian, By the time I had to leave, I was like, yeah,see ya later.
A morning was enough. Then I think I'm like that with everyone. I just get sick of them quickly. Altho Jacob was nice I didn't have to be around him the whole night.
He was cute, nice, intelligent and could speak English ( that always helps!):-)
I put my cabin bag through the x ray machine and my purse - they stopped me. They told me to go over to this table and a security guy comes up and says
"have you got a knife?"
"No"
"Do you have a knife?"
"no."
I showed him my bad, took all my stuff out of it and laid it on the table - I had no knife! Like I'd be stupid enough to to that!
They put my bad through again and I saw the screen - oh - opps, I totally forgot, I didn't even check that my army set had a knife in it and it was in the front of my bag.
"Oh"
"What's this?" He says holding up the fork
- What do they eat with their hands!?! He was serious!
"A fork" I said showing him how to undo the army set of knife,fork and spoon. He let me keep the spoon but he kept the fork and knife.
I thought it was humorous when I get on the plane and they give me a steel knife,fork and spoon with my dinner!! What the!!
The knife on the plane was actually pointer and sharper then mine!

7th December

It's 8.35pm and yes - I'm on a plane headed for London.:-)
I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision but during the ride to the airport I knew that I'd made the right choice. Even sitting hear I'm so glad that I don't have to be on there! Jennifer was a blunt, rude, arrogant, hard little woman.
I'm glad I don't have to see her again! I did see God in her tho, others liked her - men, others, but we clashed. Only after she found out I was leaving.
Jason (manager) Is just like my ex house mate Martin!!
Looks, acts ,he's dismissive - if he doesn't want to talk to you he won't. Even if you ask him a question! He'll ignore you and walk off! He's also really not a morning person where I am and I don't think he even woke up until 11am! I mean he did get up at 8am!
Out of work hours he wasn't to bad. He was a JACKASS on a POWER TRIP. Oh well - I figure now - I'm happy. I don't know what's around the next corner and I like it that way. I'm no longer in a contract and I can do what I like. I called mum at the airport. It was good we had a laugh and she's glad I sounded happy. My friend makes me laugh! He's e mail, He's a sweetie really, he's e mail was so supportive and made me laugh.
I'm so glad I have the support of my friends and prayers of my friends.
(ha,ha a lady dropped her dinner rubbish everywhere! She spilt her water before! That's kinda funny :-)Glad she's not sitting next to me!)
It's funny I don't think I have really felt homesick. I mean I missed my personal space at home and stuff, but I never cried about it.
Colin sent me this e mail saying how I wasn't a failure and Mum, Dad and he loved me and how Australia really is the best place to live. That really brought a tear to my eye. After all the horrible things I've said to him and he still stands by me.
It's a nice feeling.
Maybe that's why I don't feel homesick because Fi, Kerryn, Thea, Ange and all my friends back home show so much love and support towards me. God thank you soooo much for bringing them into my life. Flick wrote this beautiful letter which brought tears to my eyes. How everyone of my friends plays a part in my life and makes me so happy!
Just thinking of them,Thea, Ange and our talks, Little Jacob and Abbys hair cuts Fi and Kerryn helping me walk with Jesus and Brad helping me grow into the person I am. Everyone plays a part in that.
Jacob the American guy e mailed me - I wonder if i'll ever see him again?
This flight is for 13 or 14 hours. Then another 24 hours from London! I can't sleep altho it's a really nice plane. Nice food, toilets are really good and big chairs.
I also think that I'm not homesick because 'm reading an Australian book and the Author talks about Melbourne and it's surrounding areas and I know them. Also I've been listing to Brads CD, Lucys CD, Ausssi Guy Sebastian and Delta's CD's. So I guess that helps.
I find that when I think about things Rosies always comes up. They all make me smile too! :-) I'm soo Happy!
I'll eventually get my Guitar,piano and surf board.
I have to laugh at myself because even tho the other day was really good with the Spanish guy Cristian, By the time I had to leave, I was like, yeah,see ya later.
A morning was enough. Then I think I'm like that with everyone. I just get sick of them quickly. Altho Jacob was nice I didn't have to be around him the whole night.
He was cute, nice, intelligent and could speak English ( that always helps!):-)
I put my cabin bag through the x ray machine and my purse - they stopped me. They told me to go over to this table and a security guy comes up and says
"have you got a knife?"
"No"
" Do you have a knife?"
"no.strong>"
I showed him my bad, took all my stuff out of it and laid it on the table - I had no knife! Like I'd be stupid enough to to that!
They put my bad through again and I saw the screen - oh - opps, I totally forgot, I didn't even check that my army set had a knife in it and it was in the front of my bag.
"Oh"
"What's this?" He says holding up the fork
- What do they eat with their hands!?! He was serious!
"A fork" I said showing him how to undo the army set of knife,fork and spoon. He let me keep the spoon but he kept the fork and knife.
I thought it was humorous when I get on the plane and they give me a steel knife,fork and spoon with my dinner!! What the!!
The knife on the plane was actually pointer and sharper then mine!

6th December

(ok this was a long post so I cut it short ,it was a little to detailed...:-) )

I had a good day today I went into Montevideo. I didn't have anyone to go with but Katrina told me that most people speak English and there's a market near by, it's pritty easy to find. Well after ten or fifteen min, I was like - yeah. Two people spoke English. I prayed, Please God please find me someone who can translate and show me or take me somewhere. I prayed before I got off the ship and while I walked around, out of a restaurant which they had no Idea that I wanted juice.
Anyway I thought I'll just walk about and have a look around. I found this Jesus ring which I brought it's nice. Then I was wondering where to walk to next, So I thought I'll follow this road because I wanted to see what was over the hill. It's funny how God works.
There was a group of guys about 20 - 23 years old.
Of course I checked them out ;-)
Tallish,olive skin,wavy dark hair,riped body and cute smile. We caught each others eye and smiled. We didn't look away more smiles. We turned and kept walking at the same time we both turned around and looked at eachother again smiles and I laughed. I turned and kept walking.
Then about a block later I saw him, he had followed and caught up to me.
"Ello"
"Ello,do you speak English?"
"Er, no- no English."
"oh,oh well"
I smiled, we made small talk and it worked out with my broken Italian and he's broken English we could communicate. He spoke Spanish. Turns out we had a great day together. He showed me around the markets and we walked around for ages, looking at shops,stalls and trying to work out what we were both on about!
We walked down the pier and I showed him the ship from a distance.
We went out for lunch and he helped me exchange my money and make sure people weren't ripping me off. He seemed really nice. He showed me his license. He's name is Cristian and he's 20 years old.
I had a nice 5 hour romance - very innocent but it was a great morning.
Over lunch we wrote a message to eachother on paper he's in Spanish mine in English. I got it translated on the ship and I'm glad to say we wrote the same thing.
He was ment to be at work with his friends and he spent the day with me instead.

8th December

5th December

I'm in port manning today. It means you can't get off the ship - where am I going to go!!? To get off the ship today you have to get a life boat to take you to shore!
I feel ok cos' were not moving. It's sooo cold in the salon - it's freezing all the time. I worked out you get about US$2.30 or $3.30 an hour plus 15% commission and tips. So on a good day I could earn - oh about US$6.30 per hour working 12 hours! I'm on my lunch break. I'm really
looking forward to going home. Not feeling sick, waking up in daylight, wearing my normal clothes, drinking water, eating good food,not constantly moving, wearing my hair down and messy,talking on the phone so many things that are so small but make a big difference. Not wearing stockings! I hate wearing stockings and this filthy skirt. It hasn't been washed - it's been over a week! The spa manager reminds me of my flipped out x house mate, on a power trip wanting me to wear this skirt - well I can't very well wash it when I'm wearing it can I! He wouldn't allow me to wear the other skort thing , where it like shorts from the back and a skirt at the front. One and a half days to go.
I know I should try and see God in everyone but until I get over the whole "You have so much money and this is how you spend it" thing I'm finding it difficult. I have to go wash my jocks now - in my lunch hour, in dirty water, by hand,in the bucket I brought from home - I can't wait till I leave.
There's so much in Australia I can do but there's not much I can do hear. Really. Well my necklace has raised a few religious questions so I guess that's good.
I gotta go wash. Hmmm...

9.35 PM
Well I got through another day. Makes it easier knowing that I'm going home the day after tomorrow and that I'll be in Australia in a few days. It's relaxing knowing that. I haven't got stressed out but I did get annoyed today with Jennifer the other hairdresser. She rolled her eyes and gave me a look when I told a guest that I'm getting off the boat. Well I didn't say why! But Jason had told me not to - I regretted it once I said it and changed the topic quickly.
Jason will probably have a "talk" with me tomorrow - Ah... What can he do? Put me off the ship? I wish!!!
I had 10 clients today and only made$445 and worked my ass off! 12 hours! How crap is that!!! Jennifer asked a lady today if I was doing her hair right, then she pipes up" DO you want me to FIX it for you?"
FIX IT!!! I was glad when the fussy ass woman said
"No she seems to be doing a good job". I shrug it off but thought I'll bring that one up in the next talk we have about being"professional" - honestly , This is a Joke.

4th December

I'm leaving on Tuesday.
I told the others. I really don't like it hear. Jennifer the other hairdresser has got sick, I think she resents me for leaving and also going into the officers mess to get my dinner, in my tracksuit pants and jumper (casual clothes) when we are meant to be in our full uniform. I didn't know this until she told me. I think this whole high rank thing is so shit. I've been thinking a lot about Rosies and I think I'm resenting those who have money.
I was helping out Linda the other day, she asked if I could help her carry the water up to the gym. I was carrying 3 slabs of this bottled water when I dropped one right at the front door to the gym. Bottles went every where. There were 5 or 6 people sun baking about 2 or 3 meters away a couple looked to see what I had dropped - then they shut their eyes and went back to just lying there!!! I on the other hand got sooo angry!They could of helped or at least pick up a few bottles! But no. They weren't decent.
I feel like such an idiot for staying on board. Hmm - I could stay for - my pay!!! I was earning more as a first year apprentice and working half the hours! I want to pay back my debts then I want to go see Rosies in Brisbane. God with you I put my faith in and it's you who knows what's going to happen.
I can't wait till I wake up in daylight, when I'm not swaying around in the shower, when I can eat fresh fruit and veg and water -oh how I love water! I can't drink it on the ship it makes me feel sick. It's got a lot of chlorine in the water - I wash my clothes in dirty water! I just hope everyone understands how bad I'm feeling and they continue to support me.

3rd December

Oh God, What should I do????!!!!! I'm tired, I'm sea sick,I don't want to do this anymore! Character building? All I want to do is go live near Ness and Dave get a car and stay there for awhile.
I was soooo sea sick today! I had breakfast, felt ok,went to work with in half an hour felt sick again and spent the rest of the morning throwing up in the toilet.
I then got a shot from the doctor and I still got the hot and cold shakes and felt extremely tired.
I'm so sad! I feel like a let down, a failure. I know I've been hear for a little over a week but every day I have felt sea sick!!!
God what should I do!?!? Everyone's telling me to stay and that I'll get over it but everyone of them have also said that they haven't been sea sick!!!
I get hot and cold shivers,throw up ,I'm tired and feel sick. What can I do?
The sea wrist bands don't do much, the tablets make me sleep - along with the injection! I don't know! I just feel so stupid if I come back now but all I can stomach is plain rice and a few vegies! Oh God - I don't know. Is the money worth it? I don't think it is. Do I want to travel around the world? No. I don't care for it. I never have. No, I want to leave. What will people think? Do I care? Yeah, I do.
I'm letting myself down more then anything. Everyone is being supportive in what I'm doing - but I need to leave. I can't do this for eight months! I get the hot and cold shivers still even after the injection. The e mails down and it costs US $9 a min to call home and we don't dock for another one and a half days! Dam it!!!

2nd December

Thinking a lot of one particular person today. I had a dream that I was back home catching up with him. Nothing spesh, just talking.
It was like I was home for two weeks and saw every one. I didn't want to wake up.
I spoke to mum for the first time since I left England today.
I really don't care for traveling and seeing the world. I don't care. For example, I had the day off in Rio and I slept,wrote letters,bummed around in bed did nothing really. I didn't want to go see Rio.
Today was a better day I was busy.
It was pritty rocky - I want to sleep.

1st December 2004

We had embarkation day yesterday, That was interesting. I had no idea what to do because I was ment to have at least three safety inductions and be shown where to stand and what to do - instead I had one induction, couldn't understand the man because of his really strong Italian accent and it was my first or second day on the ship and I had NO IDEA where anything was!! It worked out in the end. The people around me were nice and told me basically what I had to do. Were still in Rio. I went out with Linda and Courtney yesterday we went to the sugar loaf - It's a look out over Rio. We then went to coccobana beach, drank out of a coconut on the beach.(got sun burnt really quickly) went shopping it was fun till I had to go back to work.
That night after work we again, with Stella, went out to a buffet restaurant and it was sooo nice!
Beautiful. After that we went to coccobana beach where they had a market every night. It was midnight, some people were starting to pack up around 12.30am.
I got so excited! A market! I love to look around at markets. I brought two pairs of earrings one pair for Flick the other for me. I also brought a black leather necklace.
I love to look at earrings.
I had this morning off. I can't afford to go out and I feel that I have seen enough of Rio. I'll be back in Feb any way. I don't know how much money I'll make. Katrina was telling me that on this ship you don't make much money. You travel and it's more for the experience. Well that's fine but I have to make at least AUST $7000 to pay back my loans and buy a few things I want - like a piano,guitar etc.
I called Mum last night but it was pritty pointless. I couldn't hear anything really. I thought I got the answering machine so I left a message. I hope she gets it.
At the market I thought of Mark the "streetie". There were funny little pipes and bongs hand made with a little man sitting on top of the pipe or around the Bong. I didn't get it because I couldn't see it getting through the post. People must think I'm crazy being in Rio and having the morning off and being in bed writing in my diary. I think of Mon a lot. I think off the girls too. It's funny. I think of them as my family and they get put aside with mum and Colin. It's like I love them all but you don't have to - try? You just love them and always do.
All the spa girls but one go around saying "oh, for the love of God"It's like - ALL the time!!! Everything - it's like blasphemy. I asked Linda if she believed in Jesus and that he was the son of God - She didn't really know what to believe but she calls herself a Christian because she's not Muslim or anything like that. No Jehovah Witness but she really didn't know. It's a saying that everyone says because the old spa manager use to say it . I won't be - I don't really like it.
I still can't get used to waking up in the dark. I know if it's am or pm because if Linda out of bed it's usually am.

Wednesday 24th November

I'm at the San Palo airport. One of the men who work hear had my name on a sheet of paper waiting for me as I walked off the plane. Then later when I was picking up my bags he was there again, he spotted my Christian fish around my neck
"Are they the Christian symbol fish?"
"yes".
We got chatting , he's also a Christian in some band and wanted to make a contact in Australia. Rogerio (he's name) is from Rio but has now moved to San Palo. He's 33yo. He gave me his e mail address and phone numbers. He helped me out with this other guy who was trying to show me my next flight but he couldn't speak English and all I can say is "English per favor"- English please and "no comprendo" - I don't understand "un momento" one moment.
Now after waiting,checking in etc..I'm finally an the last plane getting seated ready for take off. Oh that hotel room - I hope it's a good one. I have a craving for fresh fruit and vegies- bad. I'll try not to think about it.
It's beautiful weather hear, about 23`,the suns out. There's more leg room on this 3 hour flight then there was on the 11 hour one before! I'm glad that I have an Aussie book to read.I know the places the woman talks about. It's called don't let her see me cry. A true story based in Melbourne.
It's quite fun having to speak or try to understand the other people and also use my broken Italian and French and their English is just as bad as my French! A smile can say a thousand words when you can't understand each other. Also just smiling usually gets a good reaction.
- Well hear I am in Fortaleza, in my hotel. I'm washed pampered and feel clean.
God is just sooo wonderful!
Not a lot of people speak English and when the plane landed,I,all of sudden thought how homesick I am, I wanted to vomit - then I figured no - that's probably the plane food. Wasn't good. Anyway, I thought I only want to speak English to someone - anyone just another person who spoke English as a 1st language! Oh God, can there be some one who speaks English? I needn't have been concerned. As I was getting my bags I heard English! YES! An American. We got talking. He's names Jacob he's 24 from Texas. He helped me get money out of the bank and turns out he's hotel was just up the rd from mine! So we shared a taxi.
He gave me his number and said to call him tonight. He's here for a wedding but he may be in tonight. He was such a God send, He knew a little Portuguese and Spanish. I got a few sentences written down from him, like - I have a reservation,thank you and do you have. I think I can get around with that for tonight. This country isn't nice. It's in ruins. The hotels are nice but everywhere where I looked on the way in the taxi, the area was really dodge.
I'm looking forward to going on the ship, purely because more people can speak English and that is all. I do want to start working but I'm a bit apprehensive. I feel Jesus/ God is with me and I have no need to worry.
I don't think I have light or power in this room. I'll have to get that checked out.

- I went out tonight and had a fab time with Jacob and the rest of his extended family. All 12 of them! He called just as I was about to get into bed. I wasn't going to go out because I was so tired But then I thought oh.. what the hell, it'll be fun, and it was.
We drove forever to reach this isolated soccer field and I watched Jacob and a few guys play soccer. The women ate and chatted.
Jacob has a really lovely family. He's pritty cute and he's real easy to talk to.
The family gathering that I went to was like the Americans meet their new Brazilian family because Jacobs cousin married a Brazilian girl and I was taken along for the ride. It was a culture where the men hunted and the women gathered. Girls weren't meant to play soccer altho Jacobs cousin did and she played quite well.
I may cut Jacobs hair tomorrow before I go. Gee. I'm leaving for the boat tomorrow! I better get some sleep because I have been awake for 23 hours - very sleep deprived.
Jacob and I swapped e mail addresses :-)
I'VE JUST REALIZED THAT I HAVE LEFT MY CUTTING SCISSORS IN ENGLAND!No point worrying about it now, what's done is done and there's nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to buy some cheapos somewhere - but where? I don't know. Oh God, please I pray to you please find me some scissors or make it possible that I won't need them for awhile until I can get mine either sent to me or I get some new ones.

Tuesday 23rd November 2004 / 8.50pm

Oh my God. Oh,my god. I'm sitting in an airplane, I'm flying to Brazil!!! San Paulo then onto Brazil. Right now I wish I could speak French or Italian! I'm so thankful just to be hear. There was a fatal accident on the Hwy in England and my bus that came one hour late couldn't get through. We had to go the back streets.
I prayed to God and asked that I don't miss my plane. I was at the bus stop waiting for my bus and I was starting to get concerned that after 45 min maybe it's not coming. I wasn't to worried because it was meant to come but I didn't know- maybe they changed the schedule. I prayed oh God let there be a bus - "There will be" I hear him say. God please I need confirmation.
"Ask and you will receive" - then an old couple walked up from the bus stop next to mine and waited at mine. So I asked them and they told me
"It's usually late and comes around now."
Then a little later a man said it should be hear in five min. It came in two. I prayed that I wouldn't miss my flight and a calmness came over me, like a knowing feeling. I know God made this happen, so don't worrie,God won't do that to you.
"Don't worrie you'll be there in time"
I ended up checking in and waiting five min before I was to board. I really feel like I'm in Gods hands.
I can't tell you how glad I am to get out of England.
It was nice to get my pounds exchanged, even if they were in US dollars. Also it was nice getting $65 back for Aust $100 rather then 35 pounds!Wow.
This is becoming exciting. I'm going to Brazil!- Brazil! I hope this flight isn't too long. I'm squashed in cattle class. Emerits is better then British airways.
I'm on an eight month contract!
I'm glad to get out of Steiner. I'm nervous about the American rich clientle. God will watch over me and be with me. Oh my God - this flight is 11 hours!!
and I already have someones knees in my back!!! This is reallycramped! I haven't even got a cute guy sitting next to me. Thea was lucky when she flew. I think the people sitting next to me are French. He's kinda cute - shame I can't understand him.

Monday 29th November

This is like being in PRISON!- well not that bad but not being able to walk around in public areas unless your in full uniform etc..I guess the good thing is that were in port tonight. I've gotta sleep....
- I've had to do hand washing.
I've just eaten lunch the usual plain rice and vegies.
I've written out my Christmas cards, I just hope that they get them. I want to call Ness and Mum at Rio. I don't know what time it will be over there but I need to speak to them. I'm thinking more of where and what I'm going to do when I get home.
Live in QLD for awhile? I'd need a car for that. Live with Mum? Nah- not in the country. I need Melbournes city. Maybe just move back into my bungalow. Save money then move to QLD. Christmas isn't to far away. I have to send Angie and Thea cards. God I can't wait for the eight months to pass.
It's not that long really.
Please Jesus, my God please watch over me and my friends. Make yourself known and be with Ange,Thea,Fi,Matt,Kerryn,Rick,little Abby and Jake. Please be with Brad and all of the Rosies team and help him to make the right choices with Rosies and life. Watch over Ness,Mum,Colin,Tessa,Mon and the girls, don't let anything happen to them while I'm away.
Please God help me to keep my focus on you.
My room mate Linda has just walked in and I'm listening to my Christian music on my CD speakers She's in bed now but she has asked a few questions about you. She's really nice.
- I start work at 2pm - I dread it because it's soooooboring. Hopefully next cruise being that it's a shorter one things will pick up. Jason my spa manager is nice.
Well I gotta go - I want to do a bible study.
-PM-
I'm in Rio we went out to dinner tonight. Really fabulous food.
Meat, seafood, vegies, pineapple juice - I had no alcohol and had a good night.
My room mate Linda can't believe how well i'm adjusting. I had a pritty good day today and I start work at 3pm tomorrow so that should be good. Rio is different.
There's barb wire fences around all the hotels and security guards too. Pritty full on.
No plans for tomorrow yet just sleep in and see what happens. I want to call mum.
I tried but I got some code wrong.

On board. Sunday 28th November

I loose track of the days. No day seems special, You work everyday but I start at 2pm tomorrow so I can sleep in and not get out of bed.
Do I like it? No.
I've felt sick all the time but I have a moment or maybe two when it's not to bad.
The foods good. I'm just eating rice. That's all I can stomach right now and a few vegies. I miss stable ground. I can't believe it, I break my contract and I'm screwed! I want to leave but I hope the next cruise is better. Once I get busy and start making money I'll feel better.
I e mailed Hannah and Ivan (from England) and Jacob too. I wish I could talk to Thea and Angie. Ness too. I wish I could talk to my "Aussie" friends and hear a familiar voice! I gotta go to sleep I'm stuffed.